Bloody Scars
by therapyx
Summary: What if Clare was the one with the horrible past ? Can a certian green eyed boy save her.Read and Review please xDRated M for a reason.


**A/N: I have had this idea in my head for a while now but anyways I'm still going to continue with Gravity, I just wanted to get this typed out first, so let me know what you think please ?**

**Disclaimer I do not own Degrassi**

**Warning: Characters are out of character and if some of you don't like it well I'm sorry.**

**Clare's Point of View**

The sharp edges of the long silver razor came into contact with my white porcelain skin. I hissed with pain when I slide it across my arm. I watched as the red thick liquid run down my arm and start to make a puddle onto the floor in front of me. Before I could make another cut onto my arm there was a light knock on the bathroom door. It was probably my mother checking up on me.

"What?" I called out to the person on the other side of the door

"Are you okay in there, you've been in there an awful long time" replied my mother's sweet and kind voice

"I'm fine mom I'll be out in a bit" I said as I heard her sigh, then she started to head for the stairs and made her way down them. I looked down at the little puddle of blood and quickly cleaned it up with a towel. I threw the towel in the garbage in my room so my mother wouldn't notice and lecture me again about it. I was a messed up child and I knew it and I needed help but I refused to talk to someone about it. So the only other way I could think about taking away the pain was by cutting myself.

I had started to cut myself the day my father had announced that he was having an affair with one of his coworkers. I was already in enough pain as it was because of the whole K.C thing and something else that I just would rather not talk about that had happened. But that just sent me over the edge and I was in a lot more pain and that's when it all started. After my father had announced his leaving I fled up to the bathroom and looked for something, anything that could take the pain away and that's when I noticed my razor and took one of the blades from it. After that cutting just became a habit and I couldn't stop.

I was pulled out of my thought's when I heard my sister Darcy yell my name. Darcy was home from Kenya and we were going out for supper. After I threw the towel in the garbage I looked down at the cut that was starting to already heal up a bit. I pulled down the sleeves of my dark blue long sleeve shirt hissing as it rubbed against the cut and checked myself in the mirror. Afterwards I grabbed my phone from my bedside table and ran downstairs

"Hey little sister ready to go?" asked my sister as I joined her at the bottom of the steps

"Yeah sure let's go" I replied putting on my black converse and headed out side to the car where my mom was waiting for us.

"Clare don't you think it's a little hot for a long sleeve shirt?" asked my mother as she pulled out of the driveway and headed for downtown Toronto.

"No I'm actually kind of cold" I lied rubbing my arms just to make it more believable passing by the cut on my arm that was actually starting to sting a bit.

"Are you nuts it's like a scorcher out there" said Darcy who was upfront with my mom. Why couldn't she just leave this alone? Better yet why couldn't she just leave me alone about this I didn't want to talk about it? My Mother noticed my look I was giving my sister and told her to leave me alone. After that there was an awkward silence in the car. It was a good thing that we arrived at Little Miss Steaks a few minutes after. I jumped out of the car as soon as my mother parked it and ran inside to grab a table. The waitress there lead me to a seat for four people and put three menu's on the table.

As I was waiting for my mom and sister, I looked around the place at all the happy families and couples. I wish my family could be like that. No instead my family consisted of a father who cheats, a mother who drinks herself to sleep at night, a daughter who lives all the way in Kenya and another one that cut's and want's to kill herself. What a normal happy family. NOT.

As she was looking around the place her eyes stopped on one table, there was a mother and father who were laughing about something and a boy with medium brown hair and his bangs swept onto one side of his face. He had his headphones in and was bobbing his head to something that he was listening to on his i-pod. As if he knew she was looking at him he raised his head and looked straight at her. I quickly looked at my menu. A few minutes later I noticed that my sister and mother had finally joined me.

Just as they sat down the waitress had come back to ask us what we would like to drink. When she was gone my mom and sister had started a conversation up about the latest news story some earthquake that had happened in Japan. I wasn't really paying attention I was looking at my menu and sneaking glances at the boy that was now eating his food. He had caught her looking at him a couple of times and each time he smirked at her causing her to blush. Wait what blush get yourself together Clare. You don't even know this boy! Besides you said you were done with guys and wanted nothing to do with them anymore. Remember what happened last time you got with a boy.

"Clare" said my mom as I came back into reality shaking my head trying to get rid of the thoughts that were no running threw my head.

"What" I said rudely not meaning to but that's just how it came out

My mom looked hesitant and pointed to the waitress who was standing at the table waiting for my order

"Uhm I'll just have a ceaser salad" I replied as I handed her my menu

When she walked away my sister looked at me with worry written all over her face and I just shrugged

"Aren't you going to at least tell her she has to order something more than just salad" said my sister who turned to my mother who was sipping what looked like vodka and orange juice mixed together. That is so like her to get something like that. She got it every time we went out for supper which was a lot since my mother had clearly given up on cooking ever since my father left. Most night's we never ate because most of the time my mom was in her room with a bottle of vodka and me well I was either planning on way to hurt myself more or locked up in the washroom cutting myself.

"If that's all she wants to eat then let her" said my mother. I knew there was a fight or argument about to happen. So I excused myself and went to the washroom. When I was in there I locked myself in a stall and pulled out my razor that I had in my pocket. I rolled up my sleeve on my right arm and made a new cut right under the one that I had made earlier. I then looked at my freshly new cut and watched as the blood trickled out and down my arm. I don't know why I liked to watch it but I found it sort of relaxing. I then grabbed a piece of toilet paper and wiped off the razor and put it back into my left pocket of my pants and flushed the piece down the toilet. Grabbing another piece I placed it on my arm and wiped the blood off. As I left the stall I walked over to the sink and splashed my face with the warm water and washed my hands. As I rolled down my sleeve of my shirt, while leaving the washroom with my head down. I bumped right into someone. When I looked up I was looking into deep emerald green eyes. I then noticed it was the same boy that I was staring at. I quickly mumbled and apologized. I was about to walk away when he grabbed my right arm. I hissed in pain because he grabbed the part where the new cut was located.

"What do you want" I snapped at him as he took his hand off my arm and took a step back

"I was just going to apologize sorry if it's a crime or something" he snapped right back

"Whatever" I said as I stormed away from him. I joined my mom and sister back at the table. The rest of dinner I couldn't help but feel like someone was burning holes into my head. When I looked up I noticed the guy with the green eyes looking at me. I gave him the finger and he looked shocked and quickly looked away.

Once we were home I stormed up too my room slamming the door behind me. A few minutes later there was a knock on my door and in walked my sister. She took a seat at the end of my bed and watched me.

"Can I help you?" I asked

"Yeah can you tell me what happened to my sister" she replied

"What are you talking about" I said \

"You've changed a lot Clare ever since I left" she said

"People do change you know" I said

"But this isn't you Clare, it's not like you too be so rude" she said

"Like I said Darcy people change, where's mom?" I asked. I don't know why I bother asking that question I already knew. She was probably already in her room with a bottle of vodka drinking herself to sleep.

"In her room" she replied. I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Well I'm going go watch some TV want to join?" she asked standing up and walking to the door

"No I have some things to do then I'm probably going to go to bed first day of school tomorrow" I replied

"Right well goodnight little sister" she said

"Night" I said as she left my room. After she was gone I walked to my bathroom and stripped of my clothes and decided to take a hot bubble bath. While the tub was filling up I went to my room and grabbed a book off my shelf. Then went back into the bathroom turned off the water and sat in the warm water with my book and flipped it open to the page I had marked. After my bath I put on my pj's and crawled back into bed turning on my lamp and read until I started to fall asleep.

**So what did you guys think should I continue and don't worry gravity will be updated probably tomorrow lol.**


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